The Top 12 SNL Holiday sketches (that I remember seeing)

SNL & Christmas go together like Booze in Egg Nog—one can’t be half as enjoyable without the other. So with that here now is a re-configured version of 12 Holiday themed sketches that I posted 3 years ago; now in the form of an actual list. Why am I doing this (aside from the obvious fact that it’s the Holidays as I write this)? For a little while now, I had been teasing some sort of re-vamp of the Original S.O.S.N.L. page—separating some of it (including pieces like this) is one of the first steps in getting it done. Hopefully by later in 2020, we will compartmentalize all the sketches I’ve put up by Decade (70s, 80s, etc). In the meantime, here’s how this works once again…

 

 
CRITERIA:

 

*The sketch Has to have Aired in December

 

*They have to be Actual sketches—No “Update” pieces (Sorry, Sandler “Hanukkah Song” fans).

 

*While it is tempting to throw the “No Recurring” rule around, there were some cases where it couldn’t be avoided; two items on the list sort of straddle the line, so I will allow them. In the meantime; this means NO “Schweddy balls”, NO “Dick in a Box”, or anything else that had a holiday edition of itself. I know that seems unfair, but if you haven’t read these things by now, you should know by now that I always like to seek out the underdogs.

 

*Finally, because I’m expanding this list to 12 as opposed to my usual 8, there will be NO Honorable mentions this time around.

 

 

 

12. (DO IT ON MY) TWIN BED (Original Airdate: 12/21/2013) – Already mentioned this one on the Main Page; but suffice to say, in a period where the show was still looking for a suitable replacement for Samberg’s “Lonely Island”, Former writers Chris Kelly & Sarah Schneider was able to take the baton—at least for a little while—and give us a slicked up girl-group version of what it would be like to sleep on your childhood bed…also, I’d be lying if I didn’t think each and every one of the ladies looked kinda hot. But that aside, there are still a lot of funny visuals to cover the bases; up to and including 7^th grade pics of those who participated in the song and just how awkward a visual doing it on a twin bed can be. Add an infectious rhythm to the song itself, and you’ve got a neo-classic.

 

 

 

11. CHRISTMAS SERIAL (Original Airdate: 12/20/2014) – SNL is DAMN Lucky I’m a fan of Podcasts & NPR/IFC/PBS Style Documentaries, otherwise this might have been completely lost on me—But I’m not sure about everybody else watching. I also think this is yet another case where the piece would be better if it were on sometime later in the show—not 12:50, but maybe pre-MG/Update. For the uninitiated, yes, “Serial” is a Real Show/Podcast, and for what it’s worth, they Nailed it; Especially Cecily as Sarah Koenig—possibly her best performance to date (not to mention that she once again seems to resemble a Young Julia Louis-Dreyfus). Kyle nails it as sort of a Nouveau Santa, Kenan’s part was quick and subtle, Kate & (host) Amy Adams’ parts were subtle too. Even Jay & Aidy (despite being Crudely Drawn Court sketchings) played their parts well. This was the 2^ndbiggest highlight of an otherwise DISMAL Christmas show, Highlight #1 being Mike Myers reviving “Dr. Evil”.They captured the style Very Well, I just fear that most of the audience watching might not “Get it”.

 

 

 

10. MOMMIE DEAREST (Original Airdate: 12/16/1978)– Just like the movie & the book itself, this is one of those things that people either Really love, really hate, or really love to hate. For me personally, it’s more of a “Guilty Pleasure”. The Daughter of actress/bitch nonpareil Joan Crawford came out with a tell-all book about her troubled Childhood around that time; and well before Faye Dunaway made us unintentionally laugh at her portrayal of Crawford, Jane Curtin probably gives her single best non-Update performance in the 5 years she was on the show (I’m Dead Serious). Practically everything the real Christina Crawford wrote in the book is showcased here; the beatings, the obsessive cleanliness, and even the fact she was fed raw meat was a prototype re-enactment of what was to come later in the 1981 movie. Add to that, Gilda’s underappreciated “Colleen Fernman” character being transplanted into Crawford’s daughter with some great physical comedy—as well as one of opur two exceptions to the “No Character” rule, even though it’s not exactly a “Tentpole” character like, say, The church Lady or The Liar or anything ever featured in an SNL Coffee table book, the character still existed for about 3 years with little to no fanfare, so Fuck it, I’m going to allow this entry. Anyway, add to that well as some sharp “Old Hollywood” impressions from Dan, Bill & Laraine, and this oft-overlooked Holiday gem could use a little more attention than one of Crawford’s neglected children (Wire Coat hangers not included).

 

 

9. A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS ‘02 (Original Airdate: 12/13/2002)– This is probably my 2^ndfavorite Smigeltoon of all time (All time favorite is a few spots below). Largely because Smigel & his animation company discovered a HUGE Flaw with a holiday classic, and then exploited that flaw in order to create a New Holiday Classic—and if his later forwards in the various “Peanuts Treasury” books are any indication, Smigel ESPECIALLY wanted to do this one with great care. It’s all based on that last scene in the original “Charlie Brown Christmas” where the Peanuts kids spruce up Charlie Brown’s stick with a Ball on it, and suddenly it’s a healthy looking tree. Realizing the kids possess the power of Alchemy, they go around town doing the same thing to other things with deep flaws—only for Linus to bring it all back home by the end. Some of the jokes here are inspired, others are a little Too on-the-nose for that point in time (and yes, most of the jokes are now horribly outdated…R.I.P. Michael, David & Anna Nicole); but regardless, it’s still a welcome modern take on something nostalgic. I also have to give Smigel some extra credit in the…well…credits at the end. The Peanuts specials were probably one of the few times they would refer to animators as “Graphic Blandishment”, which Smigel does here as well. Despite the Obvious/Blatant Peppermint Patty/Marcie joke, Charles Schultz would’ve been proud of this.

 

 

8. YOU’RE A RAT BASTARD, CHARLIE BROWN (Original Airdate: 12/15/2012) – Speaking of “Peanuts”, This is probably one of SNL’s greatest impression showcases Ever—or at the very least, the best one in recent memory that’s NOT a “Screen Test” film (You know, one of THESE shorts). Hader’s Pacino, Sudeikis’ (now horribly outdated) Phillip Seymour Hoffman, an early look at Kate’s greatness as Edie Falco. And to top it off, Martin Short as an impeccable Larry David (which also makes me wonder if Short could’ve played Bernie Sanders just in case the Real Larry couldn’t make it in one night or was sick of playing him). Add the childlike innocence of “Peanuts”, and you wind up with a good laugh needed at the right time………Literally. This sketch was one of many that aired a little over 24 hours after the massacre in Newtown, CT occurred. And if SNL knew how to do at least ONE thing right in its 40+ years on the air, it’s giving the audience a much needed laugh. They proved it after 9/11, they proved it during the first Gulf War they proved it after last fall’s attacks in Paris, and I’m sure if they were able to air new episodes during the summer they would’ve been able to prove it after Orlando, Turkey & France again. This sketch was 100% pure catharsis right when we needed it the most, and both the show and the sketch shine brighter because of it.

 

 

 

7. SANTI-WRAP (Original Airdate: 12/11/1976)– To this day, I Still say “Ho, Ho, Ho” with a slur in my voice A La Belushi…whether I’m drunk or not…and that’s not even the focus of the sketch. Dan & Laraine visit a Mall Santa; and because it’s the far less hygienic 1970s, Dan warns Laraine of the dangers of sitting on Santa’s lap. So he gives her Red & Green colored Toilet Covers, and while that may have been a one-joke premise, sometimes one joke (without belaboring it too much) is all you need…That, and they clearly still had some of the freshman jitters to work through, so that alone gives this a pass. But like I said, Belushi steals the show here playing just about 99% of every Mall Santa EVER, albeit very briefly. Also, I just love the little girl’s reaction here in the still-shot, looking like she’d rather be ANYWHERE else but on a TV show that few thought would make it back then…My guess is she’s probably a lawyer or a nun by now.

 

 

6. THE NARRATOR THAT RUINED CHRISTMAS (Original Airdate: 12/15/2001)– The 2001-2002 season was a watershed year for SNL; one that started out with a sense that we all had to “get back to normal” after 9/11. Yes, there were several shows & sketches before this one that sort of laid some foundation, but aside from a few “Update” jokes/commentaries and some sketches that walked the line of good taste, this might’ve been the first time they truly dove head-first into the subject while it was still fresh in our minds. At Christmas…with Rankin-Bass puppets. I was a Senior in High School when this first aired, and even though I had no personal loss at the WTC, many people I knew did (Also, I hadvisited the City a few weeks before it happened, so there was a slight sense of “What If” in my home at the time). So when this aired, I honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or be angry about this. And not even for the tragedy still being fresh, but for the fact that they took a symbol of innocence like “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” and mashed it up with a subject that’s all parts solemn, mournful and still tense while laying down the harshness of it all at the same time (all of Santa’s lines, for instance)…but MAN, was it a much needed sigh of relief—not unlike “Rat Bastard” in ‘12. Not that all previous post 9/11 efforts weren’t, but this felt more like an exclamation point on the subject; and afterwards, we could truly begin to “get on with our lives”—though ANOTHER sketch I’ll talk about this coming 9/11 might actually be a better representative of that mentality. In the meantime, I feel that talking about something with serious subject matter today might’ve been a little too much to take. Fortunately, the next entry—also from 2001–blows the seriousness of this out of the water.

 

 

5. CHRISTMAS KANGAROO (Original airdate: 12/8/2001)– Will Ferrell getting raped by a Kangaroo while Hugh Jackman narrates…And in the end, isn’t THAT what Christmas is all about? Extremely juvenile imagery aside, I’d like to think that the other reasons why this one is funny was either because of Ferrell’s fearlessness in being on the receiving end, or the matter-of-fact way the story is being told by Jackman, or the fact that Jackman is giving the play-by-play of the Roo Rape while keeping a semi-straight face. But while those are valid reasons the sketch is funny by itself, we all know the REAL reason is because after several months of being a tense nation, the audience was yearning to let off some steam. It’s also a sketch like this that make me wonder why the hell Jackman hasn’t come back to host…then again, if other people can all take a long stretch of years to return, maybe the time will be right This year…not that there are any more Wolverine movies to plug anymore, but at least do SOMETHING worth coming back for.

 

 

4. THE NIGHT HANUKKAH HARRY SAVED CHRISTMAS (Original Airdate: 12/15/1989)– I was debating to myself whether or not to count this one, largely because few people know about the Easter/Passover sequel this sketch had a few months later in April 1990. But since 2 sketches doesn’t exactly warrant the “Recurring” label, and Lovitz was on his way out by the time both aired, I’ll give it a pass…also, I’m Jewish so consider this entry flagrant & blatant tokenism (WINK, WINK). On the surface, it looked like a number of stereotypical Jewish jokes (I.e. Socks & Slacks as presents), but it was the way Lovitz was overly enthusiastic in his performance that sold me—one that he would sort of revisit years later in This scene from “The Critic” (sorry for the music overshadowing). And of course, who could forget the theme song—On Moishe, On Herschel, On Schlomo—All due respect to Sandler, but THAT should’ve been a more popular Hanukkah carol! Surprisingly, the gentile girls & boys at The AV Club goes into almost encyclopedic detail about this sketch and its sequel, I strongly recommend you read that next.

 

 

 

3. A HOLIDAY WISH (12/13/1986) –This is probably going to be the shortest entry I’ll do in this list, because quite honestly, The premise couldn’t be more straightforward; Steve Martin has a simple holiday wish to share, he then tacks on a little extra, it falls off the rails in the long run, but it stays subtle to the end—all within less than 3 minutes. Say THAT about sketches in this day & age. A sketch that you KNOW has become a part of every holiday season when it winds up as a talking Hallmark Christmas Card years later (Same goes for “Dysfunctional Family Christmas”, but I digress). Also, don’t worry about the screencap, I took the liberty of cueing it past Steve’s introduction and the reminder that “Gilly” was ever a thing.

 

 

 

2. IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE LOST ENDING (12/20/1986)– This is one of only a Handful of sketches I could quote verbatim from beginning to end, largely because the source material is also quotable verbatim from beginning to end. The ‘86-‘87 season was already becoming a legendary comeback year when this sketch came along to seal the deal. Carvey had debuted his Jimmy Stewart impression several weeks earlier in the classic “Mastermind” sketch, but it was here where it was perfected (portraying a Stewart 40 years younger helps too). But that’s 2^nd to the fact that the sketch itself is pure insanity to the highest regard…especially once Carvey, Hooks & Dennis Miller (in a Rare sketch appearance) start beating the shit out of Lovitz doing an almost pitch perfect Lionel Barrymore. It was not only a high point of the comeback season & Christmases yet to come, but it also further cemented the notion that nothing was safe on SNL…not even hallowed holiday classics.

 

 

 

1. HOMEWARD BOUND (Original Airdate – 12/20/1975…you’re gonna need Quicktime to watch, BTW): In my mind, there is really only ONE piece that not only sums up the holidays, but also proves once again that a sketch or a film doesn’t necessarily have to be Funny in order for it to be Memorable. That being said, here’s this week’s film by Gary Weis…You may not know this about me, but I’m a bit of a sap on some occasions. I like the funny stuff as much as the next guy, but once in a while, I like the occasional tug at the heartstrings (Half of Tom Schiller’s stuff comes to mind). One of Gary Weis’ first films for the show certainly fits the bill. Not only that, but it does so in the simplest of ways—people are seen arriving at an airport into the arms of their loved ones just in time for the holidays, all while the Simon & Garfunkel song of the same name plays in the background…and that’s it, no gimmicks, no flash, no pizazz, not even any jokes. It’s just a simple & sentimental observation of human joy…something I WISH SNL would do more of in modern day times. It was a kind of film that signaled to the still-curious audience of 1975 “Hey, we don’t HAVE to be funny ALL the time”. That same signal might’ve been brushed off by the majority of the cast/writers/crew, but somebody else on staff wound up catching on, and HIS films would become almost as deep as Weis’. I Could go on about the differences between Weis & Schiller…but I won’t (besides, i’ve got a week of Schiller films to go over at some point). All I’ll say is that while Schiller is the more Avant-garde film maker in SNL Lore, Weis’ films had more of a “Human” touch, and it particularly shows in this one—my absolutely all-time favorite SNL Christmas piece; sketch, film or otherwise. And if you STILL Don’t believe me that a film like this can strike the right nerve, check out Weis’ website, and read the Fan Letter being expressed about this film…you can’t beat that…………..Excuse me, I think I have something in my eye…(*RUNS OFF*)…

 

 

 

We’ll be back this Weekend with ScarJost’s 4^th appearance from 2015.

 

 

MM: Commercial Break

And now, a word from our sponsor…

 

 

And now, the need to smear this list with an asterisk (I.e. *). For whatever reason, Mojo wants to exclude the Commercial parodies that were done live—I.e. “Bass-o-matic” and such—My guess is, they probably feel that the “Filmed” parodies carry a little bit more effort than the live ones; Understandable, but at the same time, it does a great disservice to said Live pieces that might actually be funnier than some filmed ones. Be that as it may, those are the rules they set, so we have little say in the matter. Also, there will be a few entries that we covered already elsewhere, so I will try not to repeat myself too much. That said, this edition of Misplaced Mojo is brought to you by…

 

 

 

 

10. LINCOLN CARS (10/25/2014) – I mentioned these already when I covered Jim Carrey’s 2014 episode, so I’ll summarize: Carrey has the voice of McConaughey down, but not the look. The spots themselves, however, are uncanny; and for that, we have to thank the show’s film department (Or was it Matt & Oz?) for capturing the style as well as they did. Granted, even 4 years after this aired, the actual Lincoln commercials they’re spoofing seems to be a product of its time; who knows if they will be remembered by TV historians 10-20 years from now like they remember Ricardo Montelban going on about Soft, Corinthian Leather. Nevertheless, this was a solid “Strike while the iron’s hot” kind of parody that worked when it did.

 

MOJO: 1
BLOG: 0
PUSH: 0

 

 

9. UNDECIDED VOTERS (9/22/2012) – Election years are fertile ground for the show; no matter what the subject is or whoever’s running, SNL will find a way to poke fun at them all. The fact that this aired in 2012 instead of 4 years later should mean something, but I’m not quite sure what. Basically, we’re looking at well-meaning but mild-mannered idiocy from people who not only don’t know what they’re voting for, but are also clueless about basic voting fundamentals…which is why I think they might’ve gotten a little carried away with this. I don’t want to speak for the current electorates gearing up for ’18 & ‘20, they have their own problems to worry about. This piece sort of reminds me of a line Will Ferrell said as Dubya; “I tied my shoe at a press conference, and everyone applauded. I mean, come on, I can tie my own shoe!” People may be greatly uneducated about politics, but they’re not entirely stupid about it. I suppose they caught the style of political ads pretty well here, but the weight of the message kinda casts things in a bad light for the rest of the country.

 

MOJO: 1
BLOG: 1
PUSH: 0

 

 

 

8. ANNUALLE (2/22/2008) – Who would’ve guessed that one of the best things Tina Fey ever did on the show (not counting Palin) happened After she left the cast? This is one that I mentioned 2 years ago that also happens to be another time capsule of the year it was made. Right around the time this aired, a birth control product called “Seasonique” hit Pharmacies, promising those who took it a “Time of Month” 4 times a year instead of 12…Lo and behold, yellow flags were raised; not just for the user’s safety concerns, but I’m sure some religious groups saw this as a form of “Playing God” (I assume, Please don’t quote me). Sure enough, SNL had to shine a light on just how ridiculous the idea of halting the primal forces of nature could be; and we thank Tina (and—I believe—Paula Pell assisting on the writing) for bringing such insanity to life. Incidentally, they still have Seasonique available by prescription…….Just thought I’d put that out there.

 

MOJO: 2
BLOG: 1
PUSH: 0

 

 

 

7. UNITED WAY (3/26/2007) – Still another one I mentioned a while back, though it probably doesn’t hold up as well as it used to…Possibly because in this ultra-PC age, the sight of a Football star physically and verbally attacking children might be a little “off” these days. So I’m just going to ignore that aspect for a second and say that it’s still probably one of my favorite funny “Shock” moments the show ever had; because quite honestly; if you saw this for the first time 11 years ago, who would see that coming? The shock value Really sells it though, aside from just how out of character Peyton Manning is being, and it makes me genuinely curious as to why he has not come back to host ever since.

 

MOJO: 3
BLOG: 1
PUSH: 0

 

 

 

6. DISSING YOUR DOG – Call me crazy, but for the longest time, I always thought Will Ferrell hated Dogs; Evidence is not only here, but also in other classics like “Wade Blasingame” or “Petchow Rat Poison”. Even if he was just acting on all three of those, it still seemed a little odd that he would have such negative reactions towards dogs. In reality, Ferrell is very kind to animals, and isn’t afraid to show them off. When I first saw this ad, it sort of rubbed me the wrong way; though (Full Disclosure), I used to work for a PetSmart in my younger days, so I developed a fondness for all creatures great and small. Strip the bias aside, and you’ve pretty much got Ferrell not being afraid to push certain boundaries, even if it means Not!Picking on cute lil’ puppies…Tough call, but this has become one of Ferrell’s staples, and knowing that he would never be that cruel to animals in real life shows that maybe he’s more Method than we thought.

 

MOJO: 4
BLOG: 1
PUSH: 0

 

 

 

5. THE LOVE TOILET (11/23/1991) – (Apropos of nothing: Why Youtube wanted to use The above image as the screen shot, I don’t know…maybe so the joke doesn’t get ruined?) Sometimes One really good visual joke is all you need to get the point across, and that point can further across if you don’t belabor it too much. As is the case here with one hell of a gag; which spoofs just about any item/product/good/service that involves being “romantic” and how people can’t stand to be apart for 12 seconds; So why not go all the way with the intimacy? The sight of the two-seated toilet is a great payoff, the ad is a little over a minute, and they capture the atmosphere of traditional commercials very well…but what I feel Truly justifies Mojo’s selection is the fact that such an idea has legitimate staying power. Don’t believe me? When doing a random Google search for “Two Seated Toilet”, a number of “Interesting” ideas came up, including this one about 10+ years ago from Japan. Life imitates art in the strangest ways sometimes.

 

MOJO: 5
BLOG: 1
PUSH: 0

 

 

 

4. COMPULSION (11/14/1987) – Part of the reason why the filmed commercials are as praised as they are fall on the shoulders of one man; James Signorelli—Who from 1976 to 2011 was the show’s resident Filmed Segment Producer. Signorelli and his crew probably deserve more Emmys than they ever received for pulling off some uncanny reproductions of existing pieces and putting them in a class by itself. Nowhere is this praise more evident than in this classic parody of Calvin Klein perfume commercials—particularly, Obsession. Compulsion was a note-for-note (yet still triple the size) recreation of the original, only with the great Jan Hooks obsessing over the cleanliness of……whatever the hell kind of room she was in (Upscale Manhattan Apartments, amiright?). Add some power performances from Hartman, Carvey & Dunn, and you’ve got something I’m sure even Calvin himself would find amusing (Maybe that’s why daughter Marci would find work there a few years later?).

 

MOJO: 6
BLOG: 1
PUSH: 0

 

 

 

3. TACO TOWN (10/8/2005) – This is probably the only spot in the list that left me with a feeling of “Meh”. All they’re really doing is adding things to other things to the point of it being ridiculously too much—something that I would have no problem with if other TV shows had a similar idea first (I’m not kidding, Bill Maher did a similar sketch on “Real Time” several years before this). Which I guess explains the “Meh-ness” of it all, it’s not an original idea, and no matter how over-the-top enthusiastic Samberg, Sudeikis and Hader make it out to be or whatever angles they try to add to it to make it wholly original, it still isn’t. I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention this bit of trivia: When this first aired, about 10 seconds of it cut off mid way through to show an exterior for the next sketch (A Funeral Home, I believe). I don’t want to say this was probably the show’s way of rejecting the idea as it’s happening, but it’s a little too coincidental. One thing I WILL give Credit for, and that’s the reading of the line “Pizza? Now That’s a Taco!” from Samberg. Otherwise, It’s hard to take this seriously when somebody else had the idea first.

 

MOJO: 6
BLOG: 2
PUSH: 0

 

 

2. MOM JEANS (5/8/2004) – This is the other best non-Palin/non-Update thing Tina did, one that still has a significant impact to this day. I mentioned this one a few years ago as well, and the point remains; Fey took an article of clothing and turned it into a passive-aggressive insult…and we THANK her for it, because (let’s be honest) who would want to be caught dead—or even alive—wearing them in the first place? I’ll even go one step further and say that if it weren’t for this sketch, James Anderson & Kent Sublette would never have come up with their own characteristics for becoming a full-fledged Mom; like getting a specific haircut or having an animal print on your shirt whether you want them or not.

 

MOJO: 7
BLOG: 2
PUSH: 0

 

 

 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

 

OOPS, I CRAPPED MY PANTS (1998): Ah, to be 13 again and find Poop jokes Funny. If not for that, this piece would also mark one of the rare times when None of the cast members would be in the main parts (at best, Ana Gasteyer has one line, while Chris Parnell was a brand new featured player at the time and was just there to watch). This was helped greatly not just by a good visual gag payoff, but just how many times elderly people can say “Crap” in less than 2 minutes. IMO, this belongs where “Taco Town” is on the list; so we’ll call this a push.

 

 

SWIFTAMINE (2014): The sketch isn’t exactly making fun of Taylor Swift per se, but rather people who are hesitant to be fans of her music. To which I say, I’m not a fan of her music either, but that doesn’t make her a bad person—I’m pretty sure she’s popular for a reason. The setup was just fine, Beck had a comically unusual doctor name & put his straight man skills to great use here, Kenan & Vanessa made had a few good moments, and Ms. Jones steals another one. This was a solid commercial despite making Swift an unnecessary target. This might be a little Too “Recent” to include among the others, especially since the popularity of any superstar is as fickle as the wind these days, so who knows if it’ll stand the test of time in 10 years or if a similar joke will be made with the next big pop star? No for Mojo.

 

 

MOM IS ON FACEBOOK FILTER (2010): Another “Recent” one, but this one Mojo got right on account of the fact that having relatives on facebook is always going to be super-awkward…unless you come from a dysfunctional family where any attempts at giving a shit were tossed out the window years ago. Otherwise, I totally see where they’re coming from on this one.

 

 

MOJO: 8
BLOG: 3
PUSH: 1

 

 

 

1. SCHMIDT’S GAY BEER (9/29/1991) – Basically, if you’ve Ever seen any Beer commercial from the 80s & 90s; not only did they capture the style of this very accurately, but they also turned it inside out (no pun intended on “Out”). That being said; This is CERTAINLY one of the All-Time Greats, but I wouldn’t place this at Number One on my own list—Maybe it was because the style they shot it in was Too accurate to what they were trying to parody. Or, not to put too fine a point on it, maybe because any tasteful jokes about homosexuality (subtle or otherwise) were incredibly rare to make on TV back then, even by the early 90s; so I gotta tip my hat to Farley, Sandler and whoever wrote this (Smigel?) for not only taking part in it, but also breaking down a barrier nobody thought of crossing. Thankfully, the joke was as subtle as it was outrageous, but because the film crew did an expert job at parodying Late 80s beer commercials in general, you hardly notice it anyway—Then again, I first saw this on one of their Sports Clip shows when I was just starting to watch on a regular basis…I probably didn’t get the joke as much then as I do with Adult eyes. Also, also, I know there are some music purists out there who prefer the “Original” version of the ad featuring Van Halen’s “Beautiful Girls”, so here ‘ya go. Personally, I just see this as a well-crafted parody of Beer commercials, and nothing more. If the object of affection were a bunch of Dogs emerging from a pool (*AHEM*) it would probably get as much praise for the same levels of accuracy. Otherwise, it was more ”Clever” than it was “Funny”.

 

 

 

FINAL SCORE:

MOJO: 8
BLOG: 3
PUSH: 2

 

 

 

So by very loose terms, Mojo wins this round. Not that this list was “disagreeable” or anything, there were a lot of good selections here. Thing is, This was another one of those lists where Mojo seems to be limited by the number of slots they could fill; which is a shame because there have been lord knows how many “Better” commercial parodies that could’ve made the list—looking ahead, this seems to be Mojo’s Only Commercials list, so that’s even more of a squandered opportunity. But why no love for spots from the 70s, and the rest of the 80s & 90s? I’m not gonna rattle off my personal favorites right now, because I want to save that for a future time. One thing’s for certain though, they DEFINITELY should’ve added Colon Blow; if not for the “Making of” story I read about it in Hartman’s biography, but also for the fact that a few years ago, they actually sold it in high-end Candy Stores (Tasted pretty good, it was like a cross between a Nature’s Valley bar and Golden Grahams Treats).

 

 

Anyway, there was a seemingly endless supply of great material to choose from, and they could’ve done more AND better with this—which can only mean that next week’s list is going to have to be more “Finite” in terms of supply…

Unstopa-Bill

I’m surprised I haven’t spoken more about Bill Hader by now—and while there will be a Hidden Gems/Cast Chronology of him sometime in the future, he’s hosting this week, and this is what I have saved in the archives. Then again, why should I say anything about him, considering that he was one of those rare cast members who cannot be (largely) criticized no matter how hard you try? Yeah, he had his fair share of giggle fits—ESPECIALLY in the later years of Stefon & elsewhere—but the guy is probably the 21^st Century combination/emulation of Phil Hartman and Dana Carvey; Carvey for his impressions, Hartman for his durability. Even at his worst, you couldn’t find any fault with the guy; pulling through in the clutch when a scene was obviously flatlining. So when he returned to host for the first time in 2014, he did so with the audience retaining a sense of fondness that could only be after leaving the show for a little while—absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they say…I wish I could say the same for someone else who happens to show up in this episode……

 

Bill Hader/Hozier (Original Airdate: 10/11/2014)

 

 

KIM JONG UN: No offense, but those have got to be The WHITEST Koreans I have ever seen in my life…seriously, for all the fuss people have been making about a lack of diversity on the show, let’s see if we can get some Asian cast members next…but that’s another rant for another day—Though on the plus side, I’m glad they didn’t do any stereotypical Asian accents in this one, and instead opted to go for “American Anime Dub” style voices. It feels like forever since we’ve seen Bobby in a leading role of some kind, which is unfortunate because for all the praise I keep giving him for stealing scenes in bit parts his major roles seem to invoke a lot of scenery chewing. Not that he didn’t try here, something about his performance seemed a little “Lou Costello-ish”—if not slightly over the top. I have a feeling this might have been switched out after dress, but then again I’ve been so accustomed to seeing Domestic politics open the show that seeing something Foreign related was……uh…foreign to see. But as always, as long as it’s not an Obama opening, it’s always a plus.

 

SCORE: 6 out of 10 POWs forced to perform in Plays dedicated to “Dear Leader”.

 

 

EDITOR’S NOTE: This sketch, BTW, I alluded to in the review of Amy Adams’ episode while looking over the “Asian American Doll” sketch. The point remains, SNL SHOULD hire more Asians…or Any Asians for that matter; Leo Yoshimura’s not gonna live forever. And since we’re on the subject of North Korea; since it looks like the Infected Q-Bert is going to meet up with Kim Jong Un sometime in the Spring, and the show will more than likely spoof the meeting taking place, may I recommend stuntcasting with Ken Jeong? Guy’s hilarious AND he’s an actual Doctor! Just a thought. Also of note, look for a Pre-Cast Member Mikey Day in the Background, back when he was just a humble writer.

 

UPDATE 9/12/2019: Welcome/Congratulations for Breaking the Barrier, Bowen Yang!

UPDATE #2, 4/20/2020 (I Think?): Well, THIS Suddenly just got relevant again for a number of reasons–on the downside, sorry you didn’t get more of a chance to use the impression, Bowen Yang.

 

 

 

MONOLOGUE: Love the energy from Bill, including his story about how he got discovered for the show And the “Skeleton Twins” joke…but then, lord have mercy on us all, Wiig Shows Up. But to be fair, at least her presence tonight is thankfully limited to just this and another sketch, so I remain cautiously optimistic for the rest of the show. And let’s add Harvey Firestein to the list of Random people who I would NEVER expect to appear on the show in a million years, (especially after all the times Lovitz Lampooned him) His appearance was largely pointless and had a feeling of WTF—and not in a good way. As for the “Singing” itself…well…it’s there. Yeah, there’s not really much to defend here (whether you’re a Hader fan or not).

 

SCORE: 4 out of 10 times I just wanna be loved (is that so Wron-gah!).

 

EDITOR’S NOTE: Also not unlike Adams’ episode, the amount of times Kristen Wiig cameoed since she left the show in 2012 was starting to boarder on desperate—but it was Adams’ episode where it reached critical mass, and thankfully (with the exception of her hosting in 2016), the cameos have largely died down. Again, I don’t want to knock her talents, she’s got a lot to spare. But you can’t leave the show only to keep coming back over and over through the years. Jon Lovitz tried doing that once, and he wound up being the butt of this 1991 opening. Moderation, guys!

 

 

 

HERB WELCH: Despite the mic joke and the Death fakeout being older than dirt, It was good to see this  again. The only thing that can make these “different” each time are the kinds of insults that Hader would dish out to the people he interviews—my favorites include “I don’t take orders from Manniquins”, and his choice words towards Cecily. Also, I’m glad somebody other than Sudeikis is feeding him the straight lines this time (either that or they blew the cameo budget on Wiig this week—Firestein came cheap, I assume). Even though it was the same joke over & over, I can never really bring myself to “hate” these sketches; Hader’s still funny in them, and sometimes that’s all that matters.

 

SCORE: 6 out of 10 more decades until Herb Welch can collect his pension.

 

EDITOR’S NOTE: This trivia probably boarders on “Captain Obvious” but for those who still don’t know, the Herb Welch sketches were based on an actual incident on local TV here in New York many years ago. I’m gonna give you a second to watch the video and let the scene speak for itself…(*WAITS*)…That being said, yeah, this sketch really wore out its welcome after the first few times. Hader was still amusing in them, but the formula is so “Lather, Rinse, Repeat” that even if it was still a little charming, we already know what to expect. Thankfully for the show, this marked the beginning of a period (still going on today) where they don’t have to depend so much on characters (Baldwin’s Trumpster Fire & Update people notwithstanding), and instead focus more on actual comedy. On the other hand, it’s Hader! How could he NOT do any of his greatest hits?

 

 

 

THE GROUP HOPPER: I mentioned this on the “Movie Parodies” list a while back, and I still think it holds up as a solid parody of just how confusing some of these movies are—whether you read the Book they’re based on, or not. One new thing I can say about them is just how much Hader throws himself into it as the dystopian queen that’s obviously a hybrid of Hunger Games, Divergent, and maybe a little Harry Potter thrown in. When it came time to review this for the first time, I couldn’t believe how many people were ragging on it—not even the AV Club could be swayed by how obviously sharp a parody this was. I thought it was spot on, and also a good chance for then-newcomer Pete Davidson to flex a little. It still holds up, moving on…

 

SCORE: 8 out of 10 Chosen Ones.

 

 

 

HOLLYWOOD GAME NIGHT: OK, Standard Impression Showcase Procedure time, let’s rattle them off…Nice to see Kate’s “Jane Lynch” improve greatly from when she did it in “Family Feud” the previous  year, It’s about time Cecily actually did her Sofia Vergara AS Sofia Vergara (unlike that “Men’s activist” sketch with O’Brien), Taran as Christoph Waltz was unusually off-target, Jay as Morgan Freeman was decent, Beck as Nick Offerman was kinda lost on me (again, not a big “Parks & Recreation” watcher, so I wouldn’t know much about his mannerisms…though his ID’ing a Snickers bar as a “Healthy Stool” was Juvenile but still funny.), Hader will Always score as Pacino—especially that line about a hooker’s address, and (*ANNOYED SIGH*) Wiig as Kathie Lee continues to just be unnecessarily mean—I mean, yeah, Gifford may seem like a bit of a Diva if you ever see her in person (which I have not), but she doesn’t seem like the “Stone Cold Bitch” type…a little power driven maybe, but certainly not a bad person (on purpose…jury’s still out on that Sweatshop thing). Granted, it’s just a “Character” Wiig does, but something about it has always rubbed me the wrong way. As for the sketch itself, Who cares, it’s pretty much the same old Game show trope of people messing up the answers. We tune in for the impressions, and that’s it.

 

SCORE: 7 out of 10 lawsuits between this and “Celebrity Name Game” with Craig Ferguson (check your local listings…while you can).

 

 

 

HELP FUND: It’s about time somebody made fun of these kinds of commercials—still waiting for a Sarah McLaughlin/ASPCA parody, BTW. Granted, the joke about 39 cents not going a long way isn’t exactly a new joke, but it’s the way the variation on the joke can be made that makes it worth watching. Hader is trying his best to fend off the criticism from the others over just how mis-managed charitable organizations can be sometimes. Jay & Sasheer do their parts well, and after the influx of Kenan we got in the past two weeks, I’m glad that this is not only his Only appearance this week; but because of the added benefit of being filmed, he doesn’t act like a total spaz here. Also, Hi Leslie, Still waiting for your name to be a part of the Montage (We ALL Are…fingers crossed for a January berth). The only thing I would complain about this one was that maybe Jay, Kenan, Sasheer & Leslie might have been a little TOO stereotypical in their portrayals—they ARE supposed to be refugees, right? Not people who live on 125^th street?

 

SCORE: 7 out of 10 times Sally Struthers ate all the food in their village (Yeah, that’s an old joke too…No, Older than that.).

 

EDITOR’S NOTE: Jonsey would finally get her name in the Credits by the next episode with Jim Carrey.

 

 

 

LOVE IS A DREAM: (*SIGH*) Yes, we now need to be reminded of some sadness. It was during the week of this show that the great Jan Hooks passed away, and this was the sketch they aired as a tribute (one that I covered a few years ago in our “Tom Time” sub-section, so let’s save a step). But sketch aside, it was at this point that I started to notice that something may be a little “Off” about this season…and if you read the beginning of my Season 20 list, you’re probably way ahead of me in that a lot of things that happened in that season seem to be happening all over again in this season. In this case; Hooks passed away in the middle of a show week, killing whatever momentum was building…the same could be said for the late Michael O’Donoghue who passed in the middle of a show week in ’94, thus killing That episode’s momentum…I really have no reason to bring this up aside from sheer coincidence and the fact that I’ve already spoke about this sketch at great length. For now, let’s just enjoy an all-time classic one more time…

 

SCORE: N/A

 

 

UPDATE: (Although Stefon was the highlight, here’s Parts 1 & 2 anyway)

Colin’s Best: Heroin at Daycare.

Michael’s Best: Gay Marriage, New York Comic-Con.

Commentaries:
*Pete strikes gold (chains) once again, though a lot shorter than his first one.
 
*And honestly, what can be said about Stefon that hasn’t already been said? My favorite bits included “Spanish Seinfeld”, Dan Cortese (times 3), Prozac Doobie Brothers and Human Defibrilators…Also, a Major Plus for not having Seth stop by and cameo.

 

At this point in the show, Jost & Che were still testing the waters, and the fandom were continuing to write off Jost as a bit of a drag. Fortunately in this show, Jost’s delivery still leaves something to be desired…something like ANYTHING for instance…but otherwise I honestly didn’t hear a “Bad” joke from him. Che ultimately had the better night; but then again, he was even newer, so we had to give him just as much of a chance first.

UPDATE SCORE: 7 out of 10 WXIA’s (NBC in Atlanta)

 

 

PUPPETRY CLASS II: (*SQUACK, THUD*) I see SNL has decided to kill another Golden Goose, but considering we probably don’t have to see this again (unless Hader hosts again), I’ll watch with an open mind. The “Sesame Street” joke and the “War Flashback” at the end were the ONLY things that kept this from being a 100% carbon copy, which is fine by me—as long as there’s SOME variation, it’s still entertaining. Taran, Bobby & Cecily were pretty much interchangeable in Seth MacFarlane, Kenan & Vanessa’s roles in the first one (save for a few subtle differences). The one thing that kinda confused me was the fact that the puppet was blowing smoke out of its mouth again…but Where was the Cigarette?! Puppets aren’t THAT Magical.

 

SCORE: 7 out of 10 times you can be as Loud as the Hell you Want on “Avenue Q”.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Again, Since it’s Hader, he/the writers felt the need to break out the “Greatest Hits”. But the Original puppetry sketch was so unique by itself, a 2^nd was beyond necessary. Quite honestly, I would’ve been happy with another “Greg the Alien” sketch, and since Hader is hosting in the middle of March Madness, maybe we might get that chance again.

 

 

 

GOOD NEIGHBOR – INSIDE SoCAL: This was a couple steps Better than the first one, mostly because it was less of a Party atmosphere and more of a “2 idiots with a camera” kind of thing. The addition of Pete as a reporter was a good move, and Hader fit in pretty well as well. This continues the kind of mentality they had in things like last year’s “Class President”, in that it deftly parodies just about any Male, Non-Geek, Non-Athletic High School Student from the mid 90s to now. I guess Good Neighbor has a special affinity for Slackers.

 

SCORE: 7 out of 10 “Ocean Pacific” T-Shirts.

 

 

CAT IN THE HAT: (*INSERT OBLIGATORY “AT LEAST HE’S NOT MIKE MYERS” JOKE HERE*) Now that we got That out of the way, I’ll give them credit for capturing the style of Dr. Seuss on a shoestring budget and for getting the make-up right unlike that abomination of a Movie tried to do, but it doesn’t change the fact that we’ve seen this kind of “Absentee Ex” thing so many times before. Hell, Jimmy & Tina did it a year after he left, and it wasn’t that funny back then either. As much as I appreciate the effort from Hader—who carried this one like Atlas & the Globe, this still looks like something a Fanfic writer would put together. All that’s missing is mis-spelled words, bad grammar and more sex, and it would be pretty on par with your common “SlashFic” (Please don’t ask how I know about that).

 

SCORE: 4 out of 10 dishes of Green Eggs & Ham

 

 

 

FINAL SCORE: 63 out of 100 (63% WATCHABLE)

 

 

FINAL THOUGHTS: Despite a certain pall of sadness around the studio that week, this episode was well beyond better than the first two shows of that season. Hader hit the high marks—as usual–and despite use of Wiig, the show wisely used some of its most familiar material to keep us (or at least myself) entertained. Looking back, there were probably one too many things that repeated (Seriously, the First Puppetry Class was a classic, a 2^nd one wasn’t necessary), but it still remained a sigh of relief.

 

 

That’s it for March, Here’s April:

 

*That 1999 Retro Review I promised, but then got sidetracked due to the weather wrecking my house…in fact, they’re talking MORE bad weather on Tuesday/Wednesday, so I’m going to need the extra time anyway.
*Definitely want to get a cast member “Appreciation” out of the way—especially before the summer (Plans of which I might also reveal next month).

 

*And, we’ll return in 2 weeks with something that’s been a LONG time coming…my absolute Favorite sketches of all time.

 

The Hidden Gems of Phil Hartman

What can you say about Phil Hartman that hasn’t already been said either in his recent biography, various True Hollywood Stories, or testimonials from a seemingly endless gallery of close Hollywood friends? The man is as much a legend as he is beloved to this day, and no SNL Hall of Fame would be complete without mentioning at least a few of his best sketches. Yes, the “Glue” that held the show together from 1986 to 1994 + 2 Hosting appearances in ’96 will probably go down in history as one of the most durable, most dependable, most reliable cast members of all time—it also helps that he was one of those types that was funny without really trying. All he had to do was use his unique showman’s voice in the right situation, and he wound up owning the scene. I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention that even 20 years after his passing, Phil’s presence can still be felt in a handful of sketches that have aired since 1998. Every once in a while, a sketch (or sketches) that were big in the ’86-’94 Silver Age would pop up…and so would Phil’s voice to introduce it. Whenever “Wayne’s World” would make a latter-day cameo, it would still begin “You’re watching Cable 10…”, “The Continental” would begin with Hartman setting the mood as always; and of course, Hartman will Always let us know “…And now it’s time for Church Chat”—probably because it would be too awkward for Darrell Hammond to re-record. Point is, Glue, like many other adhesives, manages to last long after the tube is thrown away so to speak.

 

So, with only ONE “Best of” show to his name, you’d think it would be easy to find Hartman sketches that often go overlooked. But then again, Belushi, Gilda and Farley only did about 4 to 5 years on the show—Hartman did 8; so, the Quantity of the Quality is a little more demanding this time, and this is more than likely going to mean I had to cut a few picks for space purposes; literally HUNDREDS of sketches to choose from; but at the same time, I want to make sure this stays UNDER 10 pages on Word. So with that, please don’t get mad if I leave out one of your favorites, but feel free to chime in if I did—which I’m more than likely going to do on purpose here…sorry.

 

 

REMINDER:

*Non-Recurring (though I will allow some “Unofficial” ones).
*Main/Supporting roles only, No Bit Parts.
*Nothing that has already appeared on a “Best Of” show (Except for sketches that appear in Montages).
*Chronological Order except for the last one.
*This is a new rule, but since we’ve been doing this for a while now, I’m going to TRY not to feature sketches I have featured previously elsewhere anymore……intentionally.

 

 

QUIZ MASTERS & TEN WEEKS IN JAIL (10/11/1986) – Considering that the previous season 11 had most of its cast lacking in any energy, Hartman hit the ground running in his first episode by playing your average, run of the mill game show host; which in spite of how straight the role was, had a sense of it being tailor-made for Phil to play—especially with several years of doing TV & Radio commercials under his belt, coupled with his natural baritone. The sketch really belonged to Carvey & Hooks, but you could tell from the get-go that Phil would act not as “Glue” just yet, but rather as the Mortar that held the bricks that Jan & Dana laid. Incidentally, “You Might Remember Me” has a brief blurb about how Hartman Almost replaced Johnny Olsen as announcer on “The Price is Right”…a job that he later revealed that he was relieved he didn’t get it; though as a believer in parallel universes, one has to wonder if Announcer Phil would put up with Drew Carey’s lack of professionalism today…but—say it with me now—I digress.  Also from his first episode, the opposite end of the spectrum as well as an obviously stronger performance. We just saw Phil play the “Fun-lovin’” type, now you see him act Hard as Nails in this commercial parody/social commentary on just how bad Crime and the so-called “Revolving Door” prison system was in New York in the mid 80s. The sketch is short and to the point, “Commit a murder = 10 Weeks in the hole”. But it’s the way that Hartman played the detective that sold the piece; mainly if he took his Chick Hazard character from the Groundlings, gave him a Bronx accent and put him in present day. The whole thing just works, and it was a smart way for Phil to make his debut—play to both sides of the coin.

 

 

MACE (1987-1991) – Technically, this is not an OFFICAL recurring character, although it has appeared a number of times during Hartman’s tenure. The best way I could describe “Mace” is that he was SNL’s version of Snake/Jailbird from “The Simpsons”; he always commits crimes, but somehow he always gets caught—sometimes in foolishly idiotic ways all while still maintaining a “Tough Guy” façade. His first appearance, not so much as Kevin Nealon keeps trying to overpower him. Then a few months later, we see Mace with a Hooker only for Nealon to be a peeping tom. Then……nothing for a few years until much later when he’s seen chatting with Rob Lowe, and then sharing a jail cell a year later with Hannibal Lecter (Jeremy Irons). So why all the fuss over a character that was on so infrequently? Because I’d like to think that the character reached its TRUE conclusion when Hartman made one of his Final appearances anywhere on “3^rd Rock from the Sun”—Yeah, the character wasn’t named “Mace” on 3^rd Rock, but I’d like to think it was him after he was sprung from jail and going by his birth name, “Randy”…but that’s just me. Point being, the mannerisms of the character are present in that appearance, and it was a good way to close the book on the character—intentional or otherwise.

 

 

GREG VS. HIS MOTHER IN LAW (4/18/1987) – If you’ve ever seen a sitcom in the past 70 years of Television history, you’re probably way ahead of me. The sketch begins with Greg (host John Larroquette) sniping back and forth with Jan Hooks’ mother (Hartman) the way they in-laws do on most sitcoms. But then Hartman plugs in a Toaster that Larroquette is trying to fix, and electrocutes him. This leads not only to one of the stranger fist-fights I’ve seen on Television, but ultimately an admission from Hartman that ever since his/her character’s husband left her, s/he’s become a “Bitter, Spiteful Bitch”, to which Larroquette simply replies, “Yes” Before ultimately making up. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Dressing in drag is as much a comedy crutch as it is a thankless duty from the person who performs that way. Phil deserves a lot of thanks for giving a performance that I can only describe as “Bea Arthur in her 30s”. Thankfully, it was more toned down by the time Hartman started playing Barbara Bush a few years later. There was also a sort-of-sequel to the sketch a year later with Carl Weathers, but that clearly took on a far different tone…it also makes me wonder if the Electrocution Larroquette suffered in the previous sketch led to some undiagnosed internal bleeding.

 

 

SENTIMENTAL VALUE PAWN SHOP (2/20/1988) – This one I always thought was one of the sweeter sketches I’ve seen; though I’d be lying if (1) some of the items of sentiment were thrown with a little shade, and (2) I didn’t think this was either a sequel/follow-up or rip-off to 1980’s “Dave’s Variety Store” with Bob Newhart (I think the set pieces might be similar). Nevertheless, it’s different enough to be unique. Phil plays a kindly pawnbroker who will take just about any item as long as it has a sentimental value; and that’s really all you need to know plot-wise. Phil’s performance would mark another one of the staples in his repertoire; that of the “Everyman” character—Hell, with the straw hat, I thought the Pepperidge Farm guy was moonlighting. Nice little slice of life, especially if you’ve ever tried to make peace using something you’d buy at a CVS…though coincidentally, that kind of sentiment wouldn’t come up until decades later.

 

 

BEAUTY & THE BEAST (11/12/1988) – For those who think Disney came up with the idea of “Beauty” first…First of all, read a book. Second, the sketch was based on a show that aired on CBS in the 80s (and then later, a HORRIBLE reboot on The CW…Fuck Reboots.) with Ron “Hellboy” Perlman as the title beast, and Sarah Connor/Future SNL host Linda Hamilton as the Beauty. Not gonna lie, ONE of the reasons why I wanted to include this sketch was because of a certain story the late Jan Hooks had mentioned in Shales/Miller about how she and Phil were so (shall we say) “Deep in Character”, that she wound up accidentally arousing him…and it’s a Story like that which does two things to the sketch; (1) it majorly pulls away from the overall focus of the sketch and/or if we miss out on any good performance because of it, and (2) you just KNOW there’s going to be some pervs out there paying extra attention to the sketch just to see if Hooks’ story had any “merit” or not………creeps. That aside, I’m going to try to judge this on its own strengths. Although it’s really Lovitz who steals the scenes; In the midst of all the prosthetics being used, Hartman commits the HELL out of playing the Beast, all while hanging on to the many nuances that can only come from a date…….(*KEEPS WATCHING*)……My God, those two were really going at it, weren’t they?

 

 

UPDATE: GEORGE STEINBRENNER HEALTH WATCH (10/21/1989) – This wasn’t particularly “Funny” or anything (unless you were a Yankee fan at the time…my time wouldn’t come until Jeter showed up), though I will grant that Phil should’ve done more “Update” pieces as himself…or in general…hell, at the risk of making an unpopular statement, HE should’ve been the anchor that followed Dennis Miller instead of Kevin Nealon. But The REAL reason why I’m just posting this one is because……….What the hell is on Phil’s head? I Know that’s not his natural hair, and I know he would wear wigs during the show, but my God that thing on his head looks like something that was badly permed and then dipped in Soul Glo…I dunno, something about that mop on his head was just fascinatingly awkward to see.

 

 

DAVID ROCKEFELLER CHRISTMAS MESSAGE (12/9/1989) – One advantage Hartman had over the cast was his age. He was in his mid-late 30s when he joined the show, he was in his mid-late 40s when he left. So naturally, he was the Go-to guy to play either fatherly figures or men of a certain age…ages that would increase depending on how much prosthetic were required. In the case of him playing crotchety billionaire David Rockefeller, age + a hushed tone gave him the perfect chance to quietly assure people that he’s just as evil as the Japanese company that (when the sketch aired) bought his aptly named Plaza. But he brags about his brand of “Evil” in such a muted way, that it could probably be mistaken for kindhearted assurance—not unlike a few roles that one of his fellow Groundlings wound up doing for certain cartoon series’ many years later, but that’s beside the point. The sum of the sketch is that one should not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the blackness of their soul. “Merry Christmas…I’m Evil!”

 

 

ONLY IN NEW YORK (4/21/1990) – Speaking of age; If you’re of a certain…uh…age and you live in the New York area, chances are you know who Cindy Adams is; but if I were to mention her late husband Joey, even money says that those same people will get him confused with the Girl who was in “Chasing Amy”—those are Two SEPARATE People, so let’s move on. While Nora Dunn does most of the fast talking straight-work as Cindy, Phil plays Joey in what I can only describe as “Aged Bitterness”. I don’t want to say anything cliché like Phil is playing the Yang to Nora’s fast-paced Yin, but that’s pretty much the sketch—Nora dishes the gossip, Phil gives us a plate of rejected Borscht Belt zingers…some of which are only funny because of just how brash Phil is delivering (“Construction Worker comes home and says HONEY I’M HOME! And the wife says SO AM I!”). Sort of a laugh in a “Groaner” kind of way, but I’ll take it.

 

 

U.S. FON (11/23/1991) – If you’re wondering about the lack of clips from the 80s, the reason is simple (aside from keeping this list short)…I think the 1991-92 season was where we saw Phil at his Zenith—not only was he taking more charge in his roles, but he was also willing to be more of a lead actor than an ensemble performer. Case in point, this commercial parody that shows that Phil was willing to play things a little darker than normal sometimes (another sketch later on is probably a better example of that). Phil plays a nervous wannabe phone scammer trying to take Julia Sweeney for a ride so to speak. Sweeney then calls Phil out on the scam by letting him know the number he’s calling from; at which point he declares out of nowhere “Now I’m gonna have to kill her!”. This sketch reminds me of a similar idea that happened about 10 years later with Will Ferrell, in fact I think I mentioned that one years ago. Same basic concept; set up seems obvious, a 180 is made, and the whole thing is told in under a minute without belaboring things. Phil’s nervousness is just gravy, moving on…

 

 

PEARL HARBOR HEADLINES (12/7/1991) – Sometimes the best Phil performance is one where he flips his lid; but even more so, Phil also excelled in playing people from the 1940s. This one combines the best of both worlds. Phil tries to convince the staff of a small town Newspaper that the attack should be the front page, even though no convincing should be necessary, I mean, it Was “Pearl Harbor”. Yet for some reason, stories about local basketball teams, minor school vandalism and possible tornadoes take higher priority; thus leading Phil to epically freak out over what everyone’s priorities Should be. This sketch should’ve been all levels of ridiculous, But as someone who hails from a small, middle of nowhere town with its own newspaper, this surprisingly hits closer to home than I remember—Granted, we do at least TRY to stay on the cutting edge, but sometimes (Just like in the ending) a major national story gets buried on page 42 or something—Go figure. Coincidentally, this sketch aired on the 50^th anniversary of the Pearl Harbor attack, so points to them for being somewhat relevant.

 

 

MR.BELVEDERE FAN CLUB (5/9/1992) – Oh, how I’ve wanted to talk about THIS sketch for a long time. I’ll get to Phil’s performance in a moment, but aside from just how insane the overall plot of the sketch was, it also has the odd distinction of being a “Special Feature” on the Mr. Belvedere Seasons 1 & 2 DVD Boxed set—which considering the show was produced by Fox and aired on ABC, that must’ve been one hell of a legal wrangling just to get that one sketch on the DVD—go figure, again. Now that that’s out of the way, the sketch is about a bunch of “Devoted” fans of The Guy Who Played Mr. Belvedere (For the record, his actual name was Christopher Hewett), and just how “Devoted” they will be if they ever bump into him in person. They do this by giving him a nickname only the fans would know (Brocktoon!), as well as going through exercises that keep the line between reality and (downright creepy) fantasy unblurred. These fantasies get progressively creepier as time goes on, but it’s Phil that gives us both the creepiest and the funniest; as well as his ONLY major line of the sketch…

 

“I should want to cook him a simple meal, but I shouldn’t want to cut into him, to tear the flesh, to wear the flesh, to be born unto new worlds where his flesh becomes my key.”

 

To which a perplexed Tom Hanks simply replies …”Good”. You can’t be versatile without wanting to do something a little unhinged once in a while. Phil largely plays things straight during his tenure, but it’s moments like this that keeps us on our toes. Even more so, no matter how big or how small the role was, Phil was there to swoop in and run away with it.

 

 

THEY WANTED TO FLY (5/9/1992) – While we’re on the subject of this episode, this one was a more subtle performance of Phil’s that was still a little on the odd-ball side—and don’t let the thumbnail fool you, Phil’s as much a part of the sketch as Mike Myers & Julia Sweeney are…in fact, he downright steals the sketch just because of how oddly he’s narrating the story and highlighting the story’s sponsor, “Nice Ass, Baby!” pantyhose (“When you hear ‘Nice Ass’, chances are, it’s ‘Nice Ass, Baby!’”). It doesn’t matter that Myers & Sweeney never actually fly in spite of the obvious guide wires behind them, it matters that this is a nice slice of bizarre with Phil as the icing on the cake—especially when he took his mustache off for no apparent reason at the end of the sketch. Sidebar; if you come across Phil’s “Best of” DVD, you’ll see a blooper of this sketch done at Dress Rehearsal; a crew member walks in front of the camera while Phil is talking, and without missing a beat, Phil just casually asks “Friend of Mine?”

 

 

CANADIANS GLOAT ABOUT THE WORLD SERIES (10/31/1992) – Above all else Phil did on the show, he was first and foremost one of Canada’s greatest sons. So, naturally when the Toronto Blue Jays won the World Series for the first time that year, there was cause for Phil to celebrate (On top of an already happy cheer from Hartman in the Goodnights the week prior). So, alongside fellow Canadian comedy icon Catherine O’Hara, they spend a few minutes rubbing it in our faces—but still in good fun…it probably would’ve helped a little if I ever spent any time brushing up on Canadian culture, but let the locals have their fun.

 

 

BOOKS ON TAPE (1/14/1993) – Of all the times Hartman played Charlton Heston, his “Soylent Green” sketch remains the best, but this one is a close second thanks to four stoically said words: “I Like My Vagina”. And quite honestly, that’s all people really remember about this one….even stranger, Hartman’s Heston doesn’t really appear in the sketch that much, Danny DeVito and others do most of the gruntwork, but because Heston is pretending to be Madonna, he steals the show by wondering what it would look like if it didn’t have any hair. And before you go nuts; for whatever reason, Hartman’s interpretation of Mr. Guns & Moses was never listed as an official “Recurring” character in any publication I’ve ever read, so it counts here.

 

 

HEADGAMES (12/11/1993) – Another Game show host (as well as another Honorable mention I forgot to mention); but unlike his first one in ’86, this one is a lot more nuanced and passive-aggressive, as he quizzes his own family about their day to day lives, only for him to mess with their heads (hence the title). I don’t know why, but when I first saw this sketch as a kid, it was a little infuriating to watch—I mean, who would do that to people…but then I grew up a little, watched the sketch again and thought “Ah, now I get it, that’s how life works sometimes.” (Your Mileage may vary).

 

 

SO LONG, FAREWELL (5/14/1994) – I know the SNL diehards out there are thinking that this is probably cheating bigger than the Patriots on any given Sunday (Super Bowl or otherwise), but in my mind, this counts as something “Hidden”. I’m writing this list, I’m editing it, and I had to go to some 3^rd party blog site just to find the video because heaven forbid NBC pay some lip service to the estate of Rogers & Hammerstein, so Dammit, I’m calling this a Hidden Gem!! More so, While this sketch doesn’t appear on Hartman’s “Best Of” show, it features prominently at the end of Chris Farley’s…but since I already covered his hidden gems months ago, consider this a “Two Birds, One Stone” kind of thing. And why not? Even though Hartman did Practically nothing in this piece aside from introduce and close it, the fact that it’s Hartman and Farley that share the final spotlight is an image that has become as eerie as it is iconic considering both would pass away within months of each other…Of course, this wasn’t the last we’d see of Phil, nor was it the last time he took a victory lap…

 

 

MONOLOGUE (3/23/1996) – Truth be told, between this and his 2^nd—and ultimately, final—monologue in the same year, this is a patently stronger piece…partly because his 2^nd monologue has a bit of an eerie aftertaste to it—but I digress. In this one, Hartman returns to 8H to a rousing ovation…but then quickly realizes that in spite of all the characters he ever did, nobody really knows the “Real” Phil (Maybe he should’ve done that while “Not Phoning it in Tonight” after all). This leads to Hartman abandoning the monologue and holing himself up in his Dressing Room. Enter the much unheralded Tim Meadows to save the day by pepping Phil back to form (“Do It for Joe Piscopo!”), followed by the non-sarcastic slow clapping for Phil that’s usually reserved for the end of Sports movies. Maybe because I used to watch a lot of said movies as a kid that I really enjoyed this one, but also…yeah, we never really got to see what the “Real” Phil was outside of the show; even more disappointing is the fact that we had to wait almost 20 years after he died to truly find out (But seriously, if you haven’t yet, go find “You Might Remember Me” either at Amazon or a bookstore near you).

 

 

BOBBY COULTSMAN (3/23 and 11/23/1996) – IMO, this feels like a character that Hartman always wanted to do, but for whatever reason, it always got cut from the show when he was a cast member. It also makes me wonder if this too is based on someone or something he saw while training with the Groundlings…though I doubt it considering how laid back LA based comedy can be. Thankfully for the 2 times he hosted in ’96, Phil was able to give us one of the most Pretentious acting teachers who ever lived…yes, even more than James Lipton. Hartman accurately displays the kind of pretentiousness that certain kinds of “Actors” tend to express—and when I say “Certain Kinds”, I mean those who had (at most) a 7 second appearance in a TV Commercial and milked that moment for dear life. That pretentiousness is then magnified thanks in part to the incessant amount of name-dropping that the actor will do. Top it off with the urge to be a dick to his students by putting them through agonizing torture disguised as work exercises, and the acting school course is complete. Having taken a handful of acting classes as a teen before ultimately going to college for a real career, it’s scary how accurate Phil’s performance was here—acting is not for the weak, and if you ever have to put up with a teacher like the one Phil plays AND Survive, you’re a better one than I.

 

 

SOLDIERS NOT COMING BACK (11/23/1996) – What would turn out to be his Final sketch is also dripping with irony; Everybody else in the sketch would essentially be coming back in real life…Phil Wouldn’t—but then again, we didn’t know that at the time. For this final performance, though, Phil does one of the many things he did better than others on the show…he got the jokes out while being subtle about everything AND he did the best he could with so-so material. It doesn’t matter that this was pretty much a “Same joke over and over” kind of sketch that probably would’ve bombed if any other person were hosting; but because Phil was there to lead the way, his gravitas helped the sketch be better than it actually was.

 

 

 

 

And my Favorite Hidden Gem of Phil Hartman is…

THE SUBWAY BEGGAR (12/19/1987) – “You Might Remember me” mentions this sketch as one of the pieces Phil did that best described how Chameleon-like his performances can be at times. Watching this again, this almost feels like an improv exercise Phil would’ve done when he was training with the Groundlings—or, to a lesser extent, a primordial version of the “Hollywood Director” game on “Whose Line”. That is to say, take a basic scene, then repeat that same scene with a different quirk/variation/gimmick each time just to keep the audience on its toes. Even though this is clearly scripted, you could tell that Improv’s roots are showing; and with it, Hartman’s natural talents truly get to shine authentically, in spite of already being on the show for a year and a half at this point. In less than 4 minutes, Phil goes from a homeless Vietnam Vet, to an Actor playing a vet, to a psycho trying to get to Bellevue, to eventually someone who flat out Robs everybody—All without breaking a sweat or his stride. Hartman may have been the “Glue” in most of the sketches he was in, but he was just as good—if not better—when he was largely flying solo, like here for instance. All in all, whether he had the sketch all to himself or if he was a small part of the ensemble; the thing about Phil that was the most enduring was that even if a sketch was obviously tanking, Phil would somehow manage to give a performance that would be hard to forget—in spite of some of these sketches slipping through the cracks. Phil would’ve been 70 years old this year; and if he were still with us, I’m certain he could still run circles around the current cast, but do so with the kind of fatherly guidance that made the ‘86-‘94 “Silver Age” just a little more Golden.

 

 

Once again, If I forgot any Non-Best Of sketches, please let me know in the comments—with 8 years of material to choose from, I‘m more than certain this is going to be a revisited topic at some point. And since I mentioned Hartman & Farley’s shared moment earlier, and just how ironic that shot wound up being, I can’t think of a better subject for next time…

 

NEXT WEEK: The Top ## WTF Moments of the 1997-98 season…I’m honestly not sure if I can find my standard 8 for this one, but I’ll try.

 

Eagles, Good luck, you’re gonna need it (EDIT: OK, now I wish I had a Million Dollars…I’ll wait).

A Brief (Yeah, Right!) History of SNL “Special Guests”

First thing’s first…Yes, I Know, I’m Late. Trying to do actual blog-related things on a Holiday weekend (in addition to work at my actual job) is about as possible as Trump picking fair & balanced members for his cabinet. I tend to turn the “busy switch” towards the hyperdrive position during the holidays, so I hope you can forgive me for falling a little behind this week. Second, in the midst of all of my Holiday related hoopla, I missed last week’s “Vintage” (Which according to some sources was 1989’s Woody Harrelson/David Byrne episode—so a sketch from that show & whatever the next one is will be forthcoming after I’m done with this). Third (and more importantly), when I started writing about this, I had no idea that the Rabbit Hole would be SO Deep, so apologies also for taking my time on this—just wanted to make sure I got everything right. So with my excuses out of the way, let’s begin this long awaited editorial with a simple question:

 

How does one go from this…

 

…to This…

 

…Over the course of several decades?

 

Well, there’s not really an easy (or short) answer to this question—even if you spend a lot of your free time going through old episodes of a television monolith to try to figure out the evolutionary steps that lead to this point; but lord willing, we’re going to try to do that this week. Long before SNL became the show that it now is, it was coined as a “Late Night Variety Show”—though to a certain respect, it sort of still is. Of course, you have to understand that back in the 1970s (and earlier), the term “Variety Show” had a completely different connotation than it does now. While THAT subject is a little too complex to discuss here, the best way I can sum up just how cheesy these shows were back then is by showing you a parody of one instead; take it, Dewey Cox…

Anyway when SNL started, despite how “revolutionary” the show was, it was still pretty much the old-school definition of a “Variety” show, only without hokey musical numbers (Bizarrely, with the exception of “King Tut”, hokey wouldn’t happen until decades later). The show would have a host and a musical guest as most variety shows did; But at the same time, there would be additional people included in the mix—Those would be the “Special Guests”; guest performers (or in some cases, dignitaries) who would earn—what I would like to call—Opening Credit Real Estate (or “OCRE” for short); they’d be listed and announced by Don Pardo among the host & musical guest as a part of the show, even if they only appeared in one sketch–unlike an “Unbilled Cameo”, which I will get to later. This week, since it’s the time of year where we welcome guests into our home for the holidays, we’re going to take a look at the Special Guests (and Other Secondary Acts) that have appeared on the show during (at least) the first half of the show’s lifetime, and how despite the fact some people appear more frequently than usual these days, those appearances are not considered “Special” anymore.

 

I was debating to myself whether or not this should be a formal “countdown” list, because truthfully & honestly there’s only ONE G.O.A.T. “Special Guest” who ever appeared on the show; and hands down without any additional discussion, that’s THIS GUY…

Andy Kaufman would maintain a regular presence on the show during the first 5 years—as well as a small but fractious presence during the Ebersol Years. Between his Pre-Latka “Foreign Man”, his Elvis impression (Starting at the 2 minute mark), his inter-gender wrestling, and his frequent annoyance of the audience for the sake of comedy, Kaufman is pretty much the embodiment of what gave SNL it’s “Variety” label back then—as opposed to now where it’s just a straight up “comedy” show with some music thrown into it. Despite its inaccuracies, “Man on the Moon” remains a decent enough primer on Kaufman’s life; that, and SEVERAL books former partner Bob Zmuda wrote about him in recent years…Loving tribute, or cheap cash-in? You be the judge! So, since I’ve already revealed my number one to you, what do we do to fill up space for the rest of the story? What we’re going to do this week is something a little different—we’re going to present to you more of a chronological “Evolution” of the Special Guest over the first half of the show’s history (1975-1998). Why that period, and why stop at 1998? You’ll find out when we get there (if the opening question didn’t spoil anything for you first). With that said, let’s take a look at some of the more “Influential” (at least to me) and well known special guests the show had—and apologies in advance if I left out some of your favorites…

 

ALBERT BROOKS (1975-76) – In the show’s early planning stages, Albert Brooks came on board to do a series of short films to help pad out the show. What resulted were films that were certainly funny, but Boy were they time consuming—some films encompassing two whole segments of the show. This led to a disagreement between Brooks & Lorne, and the films were eventually scrapped mid-way through the first season. In Shales/Miller, and in certain SNL documentaries, Brooks looks back on the experience in a bittersweet way—On the one hand, he wishes things worked out better for his films, but at the same time he concedes that the films acted as a “Booster Rocket” so that the show can eventually gain some traction.

 

THE MUPPETS (1975-76) – Unlike Brooks who had the best of intentions, Jim Henson’s Muppets probably stuck out the most like a sore thumb during those first episodes. Then & now, these “Adult” Muppets from “The Land of Gorch” simply didn’t fit in with the rest of the show, and the cast & crew pretty much telegraphed that sentiment—perhaps none more vocally than writer Michael O’Donoghue who famously retorted “I won’t Work for Felt”, as well as hanging a plush Big Bird doll using the strings from an office curtain. It wasn’t easy to get rid of the Muppets considering another kind of Puppet Master pulled the strings—Longtime talent manager Bernie Brillstein was responsible not just for the Muppets, but for Lorne and (eventually) part of the cast, so perhaps he thought of this as a “Two Birds/One Stone” theory to test out (That, and the show Desperately needed content in those early days before the rest of the cast came into their own). The Muppets became so out of place that they were eventually exiled to a storage closet at the beginning of Season 2; but in passing decades, the REAL Muppets would come on the show from time to time, and even reference their brief year on the show with good humor. By then the message was clear; the world simply wasn’t ready for “Adult” Muppets……….and clearly, we’re Still not.

 

THE “PRE-FEATURED’S” (1975-1979) – As much as this is about the “Special” guests; without them, there would be no Featured players. The term “Featured Player” didn’t come into Official use until Season 5 when Aykroyd & Belushi left, and they were trying to figure out how to squeeze in Harry Shearer—In fact; on some of his first shows, he was so out of the loop that Pardo actually credited him as “A Little of Harry Shearer”…awkward. So until that time came, any semi-regular performer who also happen to work on a regular basis (mostly as a writer) was given the “Special” treatment. People like Michael O’Donoghue under his “Mr. Mike” banner, Don Novello unleashing “Father Guido Sarducci” onto the world, and a Future Senator and his dearly departed writing partner. Everybody had their own distinctive identity—O’Donoghue  (Who for a Very brief period during the first season was actually listed among the regular cast) would invoke his “Prince of Darkness” cred by giving us the occasional “Least Loved Bedtime tale” and his signature “Steel Needles” routine. F&D’s bits ranged from the subversive to the perverted, but they present their bits as though they are an old-school Vaudeville team at times. As for Sarducci, It marked one of the first times (if not The First) when religion was openly mocked in a rather passive-aggressive way on Network Television. Sure, there have been various parodies of priests, evangelists and other figures in the past on other shows; but this may have been the first time religion was flat-out sniped with poison darts…and the audience ate it up. I’d like to think that if it weren’t for Novello & his reports, Religion wouldn’t be such an open target for ridicule today. Yay, I guess? Of the 4, Two are now deceased, one is a Senator, and the other is pretty much Retired from showbiz despite popping up here & there.

 

MICHAEL DAVIS (1981-1983) – The next few entries are here as a representation of how much more friendly the show was when it came to up & coming comedians & performers in the 80s—Especially during the Ebersol years when they were (once again) desperate for content until a new cast came into their own. For those who don’t remember, Michael Davis was (or “is”, last I checked he’s still alive) a professional juggler. Every time he came on the show, he upped the ante as to how insane the juggling trick could be—all while maintaining a slight sense of self-deprecation. He seems like an OK guy, but juggling might’ve been a little too childish for SNL…probably would’ve worked better on Johnny Carson instead.

 

HARRY ANDERSON (1981-1985) – “Harry the Hat” was probably the most successful Guest performer on the show during the 80s (and considering the next few names on the list, that’s saying a lot), And all because of a few magic tricks that bordered on the absurd—Tricks that ultimately got him his own sitcom, as well as a “Victory Lap” hosting appearance in 1985. My favorite appearance of his remains this one in 1982 when he tries to run afoul of an audience member…only for the audience member to give Harry the last laugh.

 

JOEL HODGSON (1983-1984) – Yes, THAT Joel Hodgson. I’m not ashamed to admit that I was more of a fan of the Mike Nelson years of MST3K, so I had little to no knowledge of Joel’s existence even though his name appears boldly in the credits as the show’s creator. Be that as it may, to show how clearly out of the loop I was back then, I also had NO IDEA that he & the Joel Hodgson I saw on a 3AM SNL rerun years ago were one in the same (Read this, and other revelations in my new book entitled “I’m an Idiot, Too!”—Christie Brinkley is helping me co-author that one). Anyway, Joel made a few appearances on SNL during Season 9…one of which involved an honest to God Bomb Scare with the NYPD. The Joel we see here seems more sedated than what he would eventually show us on MST3K—then again, that’s like comparing Lithium with Vicodin.

 

STEVEN WRIGHT & SAM KINISON (1983-1986) – I put both of these comedy icons in the same breath because…well…they’re both icons—even if both of them appear on complete Opposite ends of the spectrum. Between Wright’s monotone & Kinison’s abrasiveness, you actually wind up with perfect balance—of course, Sam wound up getting the greater reward by hosting in 1986 despite some censoring challenges from the network. Wright’s brand of humor is more of a “slow boil”; it takes a little time to fully “Get” him; but after a while, you do and you love him for it. SNL deserves a lot of credit for being a “Launch Pad” for its cast members, but that praise should also include their guest performers; especially in this case. Unfortunately, these two also represent the last significant gasp of what it meant to be a “Special Guest” back in the day. As time marches on, the credit became less about breaking new talent, and more about filling gaps in the cast…

 

JAN HOOKS (1992-1994) – It pains me that the SNL fansite I keep alluding to has shut down; because a couple of years ago, I had written a eulogy for the legendary performer that—unfortunately—has been lost to the mists of time, and I never saved a copy of. Be that as it may, Jan Hooks was not only a clutch performer as a cast member, but she also helped patch up many leaks when she would periodically return to the show as a Special Guest in the last 2 years of (what I call) “The Silver Age” of the show. Originally leaving in 1991 to appear in the final season of “Designing Women”, Hooks came back from time to time to play certain parts that only Jan could play—whether it be as the original Hillary Clinton, or a repentant Sinead O’Connor, or even Mary Jo Buttafuoco as a willing pawn in an infomercial (among other roles). Then again, maybe Hooks showed up because there was only so much Julia Sweeney could do in a given week…that, and NOBODY wanted to see Melanie Hutsell play the first lady (Oh, don’t worry, I’ll get to HER soon enough). Anyway, Jan seemed more than happy to lend a hand—so frequently, however, that I’m surprised she wasn’t re-listed in the main cast (Hell, I’m sure her screen shot from the 1990-94 montage was still available to use—waste not, whatnot).

 

DAN AYKROYD (1995, 1998) – Not just a charter cast member, but literally the “First” cast member…First to be credited alphabetically that is (until Fred Armisen came along years later). To say how much Aykroyd helped out other casts over the years is a story within itself, but those appearances were largely unbilled cameos. Twice on the show, however, he was billed as a “Special Guest”; and as it happens, Twice was with John Goodman hosting. I already mentioned his 1995 rescue mission on the Season 20 analysis, so I won’t bore you too much with the details. His next appearance in 1998 was a little more prolific—partly because he & Goodman embarked on another kind of Rescue mission…getting people to actually pay for a ticket to see “Blues Brothers 2000”. While that turned out to be a futile effort, Aykroyd wound up appearing in half of the episode (as he also did in ’95). He gave the next generation a boost, because that’s what Family does.

 

PENNY MARSHALL (1975, 1977, 1996) – If you ever get the chance to watch any of Kenneth Bowser’s SNL “Decade” documentaries (or at least the 3 out of 5 of them that are actually available on DVD), you’ll see a number of interview blurbs from people who Barely had any connection to the show—I don’t mean One-season Wonders like Gottfried & Silverman, I mean people who were BARELY a part of the show. With all due respect, Penny Marshall was one of these people. Sure, she gave her (then) hubby Rob Reiner a boost when he hosted episode 3; She was one of the few people who made the infamous “Mardi Gras” episode worth watching; and thanks to teaming up with Donald Trump’s favorite punching bag in those commercials for Kmart (as well as directing a movie with Whitney Houston in it), she had a much bigger presence in 1996. Still though, 3 episodes can warrant an appearance in a tell-all documentary AND the Shales/Miller Book? It’s a shame brother Garry died, otherwise I’d be questioning the Hell out of this………………with All Due Respect.

 

TENACIOUS D (1998) – The 1997-1998 season of the show was a strange one; but among the strangeness was perhaps oddest tidbit of all, this was the period where (at certain times) there was only One musical performance per episode instead of the usual two…happening AFTER “Update”, no less (NOTE TO SELF: Sometime in the future, a list of the other things about 1997-98 that Sucked). So with that gap to fill, this was the last Full season where the “Special Guest” credit was invoked—Though not as frequently as years past. We mentioned Aykroyd teaming up with Goodman (again), but also people like Robert Duvall, Bob Hoskins & John Hurt were included this year as well…and Then, there was “Tenacious D”—a group that (at the enlightened age of 13 years old) I honestly had no idea what to make of; but a few years later when Jack Black became a superstar, they suddenly made all the sense in the world. Before becoming an Official Musical Guest in 2006, He & Kyle Gass appeared on the next to last show of the season with host Mathew “That’s a Lot of Fish” Broderick, and they performed a mini-medley of songs that would eventually wind up on their self-titled 2002 album (Ah, That explains the screencap!)….but since this was network television (as opposed to their mini-series they had on HBO at the time), the lyrics were neutered worse than Dogs by a Blind Vet. It was a strange performance at the time, but this was probably the Last time on the show that there was an authentic “Variety” act worthy of the Ebersol years, or even that of Kaufman’s caliber.

 

SHAQUILLE O’NEAL (1998) – This brings us to the end of our evolutionary chain, as Shaq earns the dubious honor of being the very last person to be credited as a “Special Guest” in the opening credits. But dubious as that piece of Trivia may be, he still played well with the rest of the cast—particularly opposite Tracy in the classic “Big Bernard” sketch. Sure, Shaq was mugging into the camera for most of it; but unlike Milton Berle who did it on purpose, Shaq was simply having fun with the notion that Tracy would take him over his knee and discipline him despite the stark difference in size between the two. Shaq also appeared in a “Morning Latte” sketch, as well as a Cut for Time sketch where we see him protecting Will Ferrell in the style of a 1980s Afterschool special where the big, strong kid protects the weaker kid from being bullied (A sketch that USED To be on Funny or Die’s website, but it has since been removed). To this day, I have no idea how or why he was paired with (Host) Kelsey Grammer; but for whatever reason, Shaq’s goofiness was worth the price of admission.

 

Ever since 1998, cameos seem a little more lax in their dignity—Simply put, How come people who put in the rounds of an extended cameo or two don’t get the same dignity now that the people of 1975-1998 got? Have times simply changed? Is it a union/pay scale rule? Do the stars simply decline the credit and just go on as a favor to Lorne? What Gives? Take for example, all the times Tina Fey came on as Sarah Palin week after week. If Jan Hooks could get a Special Guest credit for pretty much appearing in one sketch per show over 2 years, how come Tina doesn’t get the same designation? Same goes for Alec Baldwin—who, as of this writing, may look to be coming on a little more frequently to play Captain Combover—He’s been a part of the show for years, and NBC even advertised his appearances for the debate sketches, but does he get the honor of being listed in the main credits? Does Gary Johnson know what Aleppo is? How about John Goodman and all those times he played Linda Tripp during the Lewinsky scandal? Turns out hosting more than a dozen times isn’t “Special” enough to be credited as such—or to quote Don Pardo during one of these appearances “Boy, you sure hang out a lot for a guy who doesn’t work here”. Another example; in 2011, Elton John hosted the show—which was fine on the surface (despite most of the episode being subpar), but then guess who appeared in about 33% of the episode…who else but “David S. Pumpkins” himself, Tom Hanks! You would think that for putting in that extra effort—even when someone with a star caliber like Elton is in the house—Hanks would get some Front Row billing in the credits……..Not even Hanks got that kind of dignity. This is just a handful of examples, but hopefully you get my point; After 1998, those who came on the show that didn’t host it came on as an “Unbilled Cameo”; possibly because the show wanted to invoke more “Element of surprise” moments. Of course, if a cameo was announced ahead of time in the press & other forms of media, what’s the point of keeping things a secret?

 

All in all, whether they’re billed in the show as one or not, the Special Guests of SNL have always been a unique (though seldom documented) part of the show. CREAKY METAPHOR ALERT: If the Hosts & the MGs are the Bricks of the show, and the Cast members are the mortar that holds them together, and the writers are load-bearing beams and/or copper wiring running through the house; then perhaps the Special Guests may have acted as the insulation that keeps the house warm in between the walls. The point that I’m trying to make is that Anyone who is a part of a given show does their best to contribute to it, no matter how big or how small the part…it would just be nice if these unsung heroes got a little more credit than they deserve these days.

 

Now that that’s out of the way, it’s now December. And since I’ve already discussed my Favorite Holiday sketches earlier in July on the Main Page, there has to be some Other aspect of SNL in the Holidays I could talk about (after catching up on “Vintage” sketches, of course)…

OK, you got it! NEXT WEEK (or whenever it’s ready), a look at some of our Favorite Christmas Smigeltoons that I haven’t mentioned yet!